Hair

Once, many years ago, I had a boyfriend who was undeniably gorgeous.  He was so good looking that women who were complete strangers (waitresses, airline attendants, etc.) would completely ignore me and fawn all over him without shame.  It was irritating to me, and he handled it poorly.  He would toy with them and make them do all kinds of stupid things just to see how far he could take it.  It was mean-spirited, and needless to say, our relationship did not last long.  He broke up with me in the worst, most cowardly way - just disappeared, not even a post-it! (Hat tip to Sex and the City for one of their best episodes!)

Fast forward to a month ago.  After over 15 years, he contacted me via a social media site, and apologized for handling "his exit" badly.  His photo shows that he is still as handsome as ever, except for the fact that he has a lot more hair than he did 15 years ago.  It was thinning then, and it's thick now, not unlike Patrick Dempsey's hair.  Yes, alas, it's got to be a hair piece.

Now, I have to admit, my first reaction was glee.  Thank you god, there is justice in the world.  I didn't mention the hair at all in my reply.  He is now married, so it's not like he's looking for a re-match.  Not that he deserves sensitivity, but I was brought up better than to comment, unsolicited, on someone's personal looks.

However, after thinking about it for a month, I'm now starting to view everything differently.  It's clear that he is desperately trying to hold on to his looks, and that seems rather sad to me.  On the other hand, who am I to judge?  If a hair piece, or plastic surgery, or whatever, makes someone feel better about themselves and more confident, then they should do it.   Then again, I don't particularly find bald men attractive, but I sure would rather have no hair than fake hair.

I am so irritated with myself for still caring enough to even be thinking about this guy's hair.  So, I'm purging here, and hopefully, I will be done with it soon.

Dyshidrotic Eczema

All of a sudden, about five years ago, I started to develop these tiny, very itchy white bumps on the sides of my ring finger and sometimes on the palm of my left hand.  The bumps would become bigger until they meet up to form a blister.  When it gets to the blister stage, it's painful but no longer itchy.  If left alone, it goes away in about two weeks, turning to a hard dark scab which eventually falls away.  Or, sometimes the blister breaks  and it looks like a burn.

My excellent doctor took one look and said it was dyshidrotic eczema.  He prescribed a cortisone cream which helped it to heal a bit faster than normal.  Other than that, it seems that you must just let it take its course.

The causes seems to be either 1)stress-related; 2)allergy/hayfever-related; or 3)excessive hand washing or wet hands.  All three could be my problem.  The fact that it only happens on my ring finger prompted my friend to conclude that I'm commitment-phobic.

Seriously, it's really the weirdest thing.  It looks bad, but apparently it's not contagious.  I've read that keeping your hands moisturized seems to help outbreaks.  I'm wondering if using anti-bacterial hand cleansers could be a trigger?  If anyone has experience with this, and has had success with treatment, would love to hear your story.

Mercury Retrograde 2011

Mercury is retrograde for the first time in 2011.  It started on Wednesday, March 30th and will be so until April 23rd.

Personally, I love mercury retrograde.  As someone who vacillates between Type A and couch potato, it's a good excuse  reason to slow down and contemplate life.  When doing nothing may be the best thing to do.  When things and people you thought were lost forever find their way back to you.  When returning to your blog feels right even though you really don't have anything earth-shattering to report.

I've been sick for the past two weeks.  Just a cold and a cough that will not go away.  Not sick enough to stay home, but the cough sounds like the creature from "Alien" is trying to escape your lung.  I mention this, however, merely to tell you that if you are like me and are totally perplexed in the cold medication aisle, Robitussin Cough and Cold really does work.

Being sick is a very mercury retrograde kind of thing.  It forces you to stop your full speed ahead lifestyle and deliberately get more sleep, drink more water and eat lots of vegetables.  All the things you never do unless your body cries out to you.

So, until April 23rd, it's time to make no major decisions, sign no contracts or agreements, expect miscommunication and electrical/computer shenanigans, and maybe even find a lost love or two.  That would be fun.

Half Moon Bay

Single

This morning I stopped to talk to two women at work, both around my age.  I wouldn't call them friends, but more like friendly acquaintances who work at the same place.  We chatted about some news, clothes, hair color, and then about an upcoming birthday.  One of them told me I look so young, and out of my mouth came something that surprised me.

"It's because I'm single!," I said proudly.

What? When did being single become a good thing?  Well, it's true.  For the past year or so I've started to believe that being single is actually very nice.  I think back on a parade of old boyfriends, checking off one by one.  I find myself saying, "Wow, you dodged a bullet on that one!" or "Whoa, what were you thinking?" or "Yikes, you would have had a miserable life with him."  It's all hypothetical; who knows what would have really happened.  But, my intuition says I'm right.

They say that you subconsciously choose the life you are meant to live.  I'm starting to believe that even though I may not have thought so at the time, with every bad relationship, with every guy who fell in love with someone else, the universe was showing me that the path to staying single was and is the right one for me.  It just took me some time to realize it.

I like my life.  I like my work, and I have the freedom and the time to give it my best.  I love my family and I have exceptionally interesting friends, who all happen to be good, caring people.  I am fortunate, I have a great life, but I also know I've worked hard for it.

My point is, I spent a few decades wondering if I would ever find the right person, and being disappointed that I never did.  Now I don't wonder or question it.  It is what it is, it's good, I'm happy, and I get a lot of compliments.  As my young friends say, "Oh Snap!"

Convert Money into Happiness

Writer Martha Beck has a brilliant idea on how to spend money so that you get the greatest return in happiness.  She breaks it down into four categories:

1.  I really need it, and I really love it.

2.  I really need it, but I don't really love it.

3.  I don't really need it, but I really love it.

4.  I don't really need it, and I don't really love it.

She says to go ahead and pay top dollar for things you really need and really love (#1).

Pay bottom dollar for things your really need but don't really love (#2).

With what you have left, buy things you really love (#3).

Pay nothing, don't buy, things you don't need and don't love (#4).

I read this in Oprah magazine a couple of months ago, and I've been applying the concept to my purchases.  I find it liberating to give yourself permission to spend top dollar on certain things.  For example, if I need a new purse, and I find one that I absolutely love, I should go ahead and get it and not wait for a sale or settle for something I don't really love.  After all, it's something that I will use almost every day and have to look at every day.  I should love it.

On the other end of the scale, how many things do we buy that we don't need and don't love?  That's money completely wasted.  

By using Beck's method, what she calls the "Joy Dividend", I think I've saved money and I'm happier about the purchases.  At least I'm thinking about it before buying mindlessly.  

Sweet potato fries

These are my new obsession and they are so easy to make.

Heat oven to 450 degrees.  Slice a sweet potato to desired thickness.  I like my fries thin and crispy.  Coat very lightly with oil.  I use canola oil.  Salt and pepper.  Mix and spread on a baking sheet.  Bake for 15 minutes.  Mix and toss.  Put back into the oven for another 15 minutes or until done.

The Secret in Their Eyes

I am passionate about film, and so are many of my friends.  Still, it was a surprise to me when one of them got angry, and I mean seriously angry, when I let "The Secret in Their Eyes" come and go in our local theaters without going to see this award winning foreign language film.  He said that it was possibly the most perfect film he'd seen, the construction was flawless, and he wanted to talk about it with me.

I said, go ahead, talk.  It's okay with me if I haven't seen it.  He was so distressed that I hadn't taken his many recommendations to go see this film before it leaves town to heart.  I must admit, the film looked interesting, but it takes an extraordinary film to get me into a theater these days.  Busy schedule, plus the ease of Netflix, has made the big screen a rare occurrence.

The Secret in Their Eyes came out on Netflix this past week, so I finally got to see it.  It is, indeed, a special film.  The ending was a true surprise; endings have gotten so predictable, no?  And it is one of those films which you could spend a great deal of time dissecting and pondering and comparing notes with other avid film lovers.  I didn't love the film as much as my friend, but it's one that stays with you for days after.  And, I'm glad that I have friends that are so passionate about film.  Here's a link to the trailer.

National Coffee Day - September 29th

It's 7 p.m. and only now do I find out it's National Coffee Day.  I wish I had known this earlier, although everyday is a coffee day for me.  Hawaii is known for its Kona coffee, but our coffee industry is going through a crisis with an infestation of the dreaded coffee berry borer.  I'm told the pest lays its eggs inside the coffee berry so that it's difficult to eradicate through spraying.

Be Not Afraid

My doctor convinced me when she said "No one should die of colon cancer."  That's when I had to agree with her and got myself scheduled for a colonoscopy.  The prep is the worst part.  Not eating for 24 hours.  Drinking a gallon of sodium bicarbonate and water and some not so flavorful flavor.  I chose lemon-lime, which seemed the least awful compared to pineapple, cherry or orange.  The great cleanse.  The procedure itself however was nothing.  Sleep and then it's over.  If you are over 50 or have a history of colon cancer in your family, please get yourself screened.  You'll feel good about yourself afterwards.

Ashamed to admit...

I haven't read:

The Bonfire of the Vanities
Lolita
Bleak House
The Kite Runner
Remembrance of Things Past
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Mrs. Dalloway/The Hours
Leaves of Grass
Team of Rivals
Cold Mountain

All of which sit on my shelf, or on the nightstand, or on the coffee table, gathering dust.  They get bypassed when something new and full of buzz comes along.

Tolerance for weird place names

One thing that struck me about the phenomena of the Stieg Larsson trilogy set in Sweden is that the universal reading public is obviously just fine with long, odd-sounding place names and street names.  It's always been a worry of mine.  As a wannabe writer in Hawaii, I worry that sticking in locations like Kalanianaole Highway would be a problem.

Apparently not.  Larsson uses Swedish place names long and harder than that, and while I can't pronounce most of them and will remember none of them, they have nothing to do with moving the plot forward.  They add color, but not meaning.

I'm relieved.  I would like to be as authentic in writing about my world as possible.  I guess I thought readers in, say, the mid-west would be lost.  I underestimated the reader, and I'm glad I was so wrong.

Why am I hooked on The Bachelorette?

I don't quite understand it, myself.  I don't watch a lot of television.  In fact, there is no longer any show that I make an effort to watch regularly...except The Bachelorette.

I know I'm not alone.  But, what is it about this show that compels you to watch and to root for your favorites?  The situation is completely unrealistic.  Finding a husband (or wife), possibly the most important decision of your life, based on a process of elimination?

Imagine millions of people shouting into their TV sets to Ali..."What?  You're keeping that loser and sending the nice guy home?  What are you thinking?!!"

So, have you picked the winner yet?  I have.  It's obvious to me that she's in love with Roberto.  But, knowing how this show works, I'm sure there will be some dramatic twist making it impossible for Roberto to stay the course.  Inevitably, someone will be called back for a family emergency or have a secret girlfriend or decide that his job is more important than the girl.

For a couple of hours a week, we suspend belief, our thinking brains dormant, and enjoy the sheer melodrama of the mating ritual.

Ceiling Cat

For about a week, Karma found a safe place to hang out.  She was able to watch me while I cooked and washed dishes.  She'd come down to eat, and at night to roam around and do her mischief.  A few times she knocked over her water bowl when she jumped down, and that may have persuaded her that maybe this wasn't such a perfect perch after all.

She did manage to knock over two of my paintings at night.  One of them put a dent the size of a quarter in my laminated wood floor.  The other, a huge painting that was propped up against the wall, also came down.  Much to my horror, a flat screen TV and an off white Natuzzi leather couch broke its fall.  Luckily, for Karma, the TV still works and there was no tear in the leather.

So, today we took photos to send to her original owner and to the vet.  We're slowly making progress.